a bit about steroids.

papi took steroids.

holy fuck! all those home runs are a lie! the championships mean absolutely nothing! FML!

nah. here’s the lie: that any of it mattered in the first place.

i love baseball. i love the red sox. i love fenway park. i love big papi.

as recently as 2 years ago, i took this shit way too fucking seriously.

now, thanks to everybody taking steroids, i have been forced to come to terms with the fact that they are merely guys who play baseball for a living and i am merely a dude who spends too much money on them and time caring about them.

newsflash: you don’t play baseball for a living (well, maybe you do, but i doubt you’re reading this blog) and you did not win a single baseball game for the red sox. you watched them do it, either on tv or in person. you cheered for them, you cried over them, you drank beers when they won, you drank beers when they lost — hell, you just drank a shitload of beers. and that’s about it.

so, please. explain to me how their steroid use has any affect on your life whatsoever?

do yourself a favor. get over it. like them, or don’t like them. but don’t act like anyone betrayed you. especially you, mr. shaughnessy. (you’ve made quite a pretty penny thanks to them, as opposed to the rest of us who have just spent a pretty penny). they may have done permanent damage to their bodies. they may have done something illegal. they may have “cheated” in the eyes of other players who did not. but that’s a problem for them and the people in their industry. all you did was watch and have fun. so what the fuck are you complaining about?

as my friend Mu would say: live ya life.

okay, this is NOT the year.

pathetic. just pathetic.

it’s official. i will never, ever root for the cubs again.

you don’t understand. immediately after the red sox won the world series last year (their second in 4 seasons), i thought, “maybe we should all be cubs fans, now.”

i mean, the country seemed to have a foolish vendetta against the red sox and red sox fans. like we should be ashamed of ourselves for some reason. like we shouldn’t be excited about 2 championships after an 86-year drought. and i bought into it. i did. i became apologetic.

well, fuck you, america! the red sox are defying expectations — AGAIN — while everybody’s precious “lovable loser” cubs are just plain losers.

and they don’t even have the decency to lose in spectacular fashion like the good ol’ red sox used ta.

nope. they just suck.

go red sox. eat shit, manny. bite my ass, tampa bay. and suck it, philly. we’re coming for ya.

me and the bear.

loved it.

i loved every second of it.

i loved how lester went out and fulfilled expectations nobody ever foisted upon him.

i loved how poised he was after a rough first inning.

i loved how the kids picked up the vets.

i loved how papi chipped in after pressing too much early on.

mostly, i loved how the red sox made me look stupid. and how they’ll do it for 10 more wins.

look, after 2004, we all know it’s icing.

but icing is the best fucking part.

this is the year.

call me a blasphemer, call me a traitor, call me whatever you want.

but scoop jackson’s column at espn.com is just the latest piece to give me chills today.

ask yourself if it doesn’t seem familiar.

in 2004, the red sox won their first world series after an 86-year drought. it was 101 years after they’d won the first world series ever played, the year that the “royal rooters” popularized a song called “tessie” as their rallying cry in support of the sox.

2008 marks the 100th anniversary of “take me out to the ballgame,” popularized in the latter half of the 20th century by chicago legend harry caray, who performed it with gusto at comiskey and then later at wrigley field. 

don’t get me wrong. i’m rooting for the red sox. i will always root for the red sox as long as they have a chance. but part of me understands that this could easily be the year for the cubs. and another part of me is pretty excited about it.

if that’s the case, here’s hoping for a grand white house celebration next february with another one of chicago’s finest.

and i’m sorry for the extended absences.

it’s friday night at 9:30pm in l.a. and i’m sitting at home alone. this is a common theme. has been, unfortunately, whether i’m in l.a. or not. i’m working on it, i am, but it’s rough. i want drinks.

one of the saddest days of the year is the wednesday after the all-star game. there is no baseball played in america and the nation is quiet and in something like a despair. i usually try to fill it by watching a baseball movie, or reading a baseball book, or doing something baseballish.

but there’s a different day upon which baseball is (typically) not played: the day between the regular season and the playoffs. and rather than sadness, i often feel a giddiness and then, a calmness, as though i’m standing on the beach looking out at a vast, still ocean — or a large meadow the morning after a snowfall; a clean, untouched canvas. picture me on october 4, 2004, walking down commonwealth avenue. brisk air, falling leaves, and a goofy smile on my face.

the next 23 days would be the one of the zaniest emotional rollercoasters i’d ever ride. and on that day, i had no idea what was about to happen. i just knew something extraordinary would.

i’ll never quite recapture that feeling, for obvious reasons. but let’s pretend for tonight, with 12 hours to go until the new york yankees play the baltimore orioles, that we know something quite similar to that giddiness, that calmness, that anticipatory vision.

by this time tomorrow, the yankees will be eliminated from the postseason before it has begun.

by this time on sunday, the final out at yankee stadium will have been recorded.

and by this time next month?

well, who knows.

certainly not me.

i’m gonna go have a beer.

hey, theo. yeah, you. did you know that you totally suck?

look, manny had to go. at the end of the season. we wouldn’t have gotten anything for him, sure (except draft picks), but at least the season would most likely have ended in october. probably.

let’s take a look at the season in trades:

- brewers acquire c.c. sabbathia

- cubbies pick up rich harden

- angels grab mark teixiera

- dodgers pick up casey blake and manny fucking ramirez

aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddd…

- the red sox dump their best player for a guy from the pittsburgh pirates

look, i’m not saying jason bay isn’t great on your fantasy team. (fuck you, georg.) but that’s all we get?! and hey, that’s not all, we also had to give up 2 other guys!??!

to re-cap:

just about every other contender got better. the red sox got worse.

it’s official. i’m rooting for the cubs to win the series.

angelinos in the outfield.

so this week i’m participating in a mock trial for law students serving as summer associates for a law firm in town. i’m playing 3 witnesses in a civil suit. it’s a paying gig, and fairly fascinating (the experience, not the mock case), and i shall tell you all about it later in the week.

but for now, lemme tell you about our awesome saturday o’ surprises at dodger stadium.

i bought 4 field level seats at a silent auction last february. this was held at a ticketing conference in chicago, which i attended back when i worked as a ticketing professional. before i decided (foolishly) to not have a job anymore and (yet foolishlier) move to los angeles. wound up getting pretty sweet seats for half-price, preferred parking gratis.

it was 176 degrees, and we all got a little burned. plus the game went into extra innings, which was a little tiring. (photos below). little did we know that the following things would happen:

- chubby 2007 cy young winner c.c. sabathia would hit a lead-off home-run in his first at bat, about 3 minutes after jon said “it would be awesome if c.c. sabathia hit a lead-off home-run right now.” for those who don’t follow the baseball, c.c. is a pitcher, and pitchers (in real baseball) do not come up to bat. so that was pretty rad.

- coincidentally, it was also the day of the hollywood stars game and fans were invited to stay afterwards to watch a slew of b-list celebs play softball. the b-list included jon lovitz, kareem abdul-jabbar, adam corrolla, vida guerra, tom arnold, and several more. goofy, but still rad.

- the biggest and best surprise came last. fans were invited to watch from the field. so we got to, you know, hang out in the dodger outfield. i wouldn’t say this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but it was my first time out on the actual grass at a ballpark (i’ve been on the fenway warning track). needless to say, the baseball geeks in attendance thought this was the raddest thing of all.

here’s a link to some pics:

06-21-08, dodgers